A Little Bit About Me
"The best of you are those who are best to their wives". This is a status I try and live by. Its not just words to me. These are the words of the prophet pbuh. For me it means to love, care and respect my future wife. The way our Prophet pbuh lived his life as a husband, thats how I will TRY and action on it (This does not include getting a 2nd, 3rd, and 4th wife lol)
Marriage is a blessing. It is by the will of Allah that he brings us together. The blessing of marriage opens doors for both spouses to earn rewards which cannot be earned when your single. I believe every act of kindness, communication, support, being the team player is an act of reward by Allah. Allah loves those who show mercy and love to one another. Love for sake of Allah.
For me marriage needs commitment from both spouse. There needs to be a level of commitment in order for the marriage to work and last long. Marriage needs to involve having fear. Fear not of the husband (or the wife lol), but of Allah. Because in every action Allah is watching us. He sees the good and bad in us, and we need to ensure that we try and be the best for our spouse to not only make our other half content and happy, but to earn the rewards from Allah and to please him.
I do believe if both spouse love each other for the sake of Allah, there will be less issues.
I also do believe that spouses needs to have an understanding of what marriage is all about and what it entails. What the responsibilities are for each other and how we go about implementing these responsibilities.
Yes we have weaknesses, and we may not be able to do everything for our spouse. But if we give 200% to each other, we are sure to complement each other and support each other in our weaknesses.
A LITTLE ABOUT ME:
I am a kind, caring, and honest person. I like to think of myself as a practising muslim who prays his 5 daily prayers. I read Quran on a daily basis. Trying to keep doing good consistently even if it is a little.
Introvert at heart. My personality type is ISFJ. I like to spend time with family and with my small group of friends.
My time is usually spent on working. During my free time, I make the effort of reading the Quran on a daily basis. I've made the intention to fix up my memorisation of the Quran which I have made baby steps on. Consistency is key!
I spend time with friends playing computer games or occasionally going out to eat or playing badminton/keeping fit. I Also spend time catching up on reading a book or manga.
I occasionally watch movies here and there. Same with TV shows & animes (binged Squid Game recently).
I try NOT to listen to music. Try and avoid it as much as possible. Sometimes listen to Nasheeds.
Usually my go to place for entertainment is YouTube. Lol. Watch various things like gaming to islamic talks/reminders/recitations.
Not on any social media platforms except Twitter.
Well where to begin with this. I'll keep it brief and reveal more during our conversation if asked. I got married in Summer 2020. Was married for 1 year. To put it simply we weren't compatible at all. Divorce is something which was the last thing on my mind. There were a lot of factors which led to my decision of divorce.
As Mufti Menk says: Sometimes you do istikhara regarding marriage, you get married and later on it doesn't work out. Istikhara is not meant whether the marriage will work out or not. The dua of istikhara is all about asking Allah to put blessing in the marriage where he puts good for you in this dunya and akhirah. And if the marriage will not bring any good then Allah will divert it away from you".
My marriage has brought about positive change in me where I read the Quran on daily basis. As a hafiz, I didn't put that effort in before marriage! I also pray my 5 daily salah on time (though need to be more regular going to the masjid). I also try and do zikr and tahajjud from time to time.
*Enter pinky and the brain GIF. (My GIF game is strong. I can literally have a conversation using GIFS. Lol)
My future goals are pretty simple.
1. To get married and make it a loving and healthy relationship.
2. To have children and raise them up to be pious children. To give them an islamic upbringing.
3. To rememorise the Quran
4. Start going on islamic courses and possibly learn arabic (hopefully with my spouse)
5. Focus on my career where I can progress in my job.
6. Go and do Umrah/Hajj
7. Travel with spouse (check weakness section. Lol)
I don't think I've seen anyone list their weakness before, so I'll be the first.
1. I don't think of myself as funny. I think I'm witty and probably have dark humour.
2. I'm NOT great at conversations but I try. I know it is very important in marriage and in life. I am a very straight forward guy. I don't speak like a roadman. My conversations can be very formal and sometimes awkward. This can make me to be a boring person. Lol
3. I have a driving license but don't drive. Lol. For some reason I lack confidence or I'm scared.
4. I can't cook. Can make a banging tea and toast. Can make coffee. Can also put things in the oven. Lol.
5. I don't go out much. Usually stay at home. But I am open to travelling with my future spouse.
1. Very supportive around the house as well as work and the outside world.
2. Care for those who are close to me.
3. Religious. As someone who is kind and caring, please do not mistake me taking advantage of you by using Islam. Islam does not teach us to take advantage of people to begin with. The Quran and Sunnah is there to guide us and tells us how to live our life.
3.1. I'm good with teaching Quran and Tajweed. I have taught kids Quran and Tajweed before.
5. I don't get angry easily. Alhamdulillah I have not showed any anger to my ex wife. Solely because anger causes more problem as well as hurt for the other person. And I know that I will have to be accountable to Allah in how my relationship has been with my spouse. Hence I've only shown kindness and good towards her. Allah is my witness.
One of the marriage gems is, if one is angry (fire) the other should be calm (water).
What I Am Looking For
WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR AND EXPECTATIONS:
In no particular order -
1. Preferably bengali (sylheti). Also open to South Asian community.
2. Someone who is ready for marriage.
3. Someone who understands what marriage is and its responsibilities that comes with it. Someone who will make the effort, adapt, change and improve.
4. Someone who wants to have children.
5. Someone who will accept their husbands flaws and support him to be a better person (I will do the same).
6. Someone who will love their spouse for the sake of Allah. (I do believe if both spouse love each other for the sake of Allah and show an act of selflessness, then either spouse don't have to remind each other of their responsibilities).
7. Someone who will show care, love and affection.
8. Someone who shares my goals (doesn't have to be all)
9. Someone who wears a hijab/niqab
10. Someone who prays their 5 daily salah, fulfills the fast during Ramadan and pay their zakah.
11. A homely person who is keen on planning trips with spouse.
12. I am open to those who work or don't work. I would prefer if your profession was in education. (Hoping that spouse does not work once having children. We can review this later)
13. Someone who is open to live with Inlaws/Family.
14. Someone who is a good communicator and does not get angry easily.
15. Someone who will show respect towards their husband. Not bad mouthing and blabbing on about ones flaws.
16. Someone who is 4ft 6 inch or taller.
17. Someone who is honest. Honesty/Trust is very important in marriage. You lose that and the marriage literally crumbles.
18. Someone who'll be open up to their feelings.
19. NO NARCISSIST! Believe me, I will know and it ain't gonna work out when I find out. So let's not waste each others time.
20. Someone who does not free mix with the opposite gender. That includes relatives who are non mahram.
Jazallahu khair for reading if you have reached the end! Here is a little dua:
Ya Allah make this search easy for us. Ya Allah grant us a spouse who who will be the coolness of our eyes. Ya Allah make our spouse our comfort in this dunya and akhira. Ya Allah allow us to fulfill our responsibilities of each other. Ya Allah increase us in our imaan. Ya Allah protect us from shayateen and our nafs.