A Little Bit About Me
Salaam alaikum,
Ok... since everyone (except me!) seems to be in a hurry, I'll give you the bulletpoints... lol.
And, for those so inclined, the "Long Story" follows after that.
(No, really... read the Long Story, too. It's worth it! I promise! *shameless self propaganda* :)
So, here is the "Short Story", at a glance:
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- 47years old (really?! you don't look it!) I blame laughter and happiness. :)
- Reverted to Islam ca. 5 years ago, then "stuff" happened; read the long story.
- Never Married, but had a 21 year relationship.
- Have a 14 year old son. Would love more children, even if not mine.
- Non-smoker, and I don't think I could be with a companion who smokes..
- I'm Italian. I also speak English and French.
- Live near London, but... I'm an adventurer; who knows if I'll stay here forever?
- Worked as a Prisoner Escort for the Ministry of Justice, and now in Private Security.
- Building a business, to create my own income and portfolio.
- Still have much to learn in Islam, and at one point even left the Deen; however, I am back with more humility than ever before, and willing to learn, understand why I failed the first time. I am not perfect.
- The idea is to eventually marry, but I'm certainly not desperate, nor am I going to rush into it without knowing you, and feeling a connection to you.
- Age is NOT a factor. You may be just 20 or even 50. Only Allah swt knows if you will be the right companion.
- PLEASE! At least a picture! Why hide from me? It's not a blind date! ;)
- One line messages/Salaams, or vacant profiles... uhm... please, give me something to work with, here! If not, I "may" get back to you - "maybe" - after I've answered everyone else who's made an effort. You get the picture!
Long Version:
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I told myself that, in order to intrigue you, I had to write a brief bio that was: full of humour, thoughtful, deep, spiritual, original, powerful, articulate, elegant... something compelling and captivating. How can I stand out, and catch your attention, amidst so many brothers showcasing their best?
But there was no way was it going to be a BRIEF bio, if I did that. And in thinking through these considerations... I realised I had just described myself.
UPDATE: For a few years, I had found myself abandoning Islam, disillusioned by lack of answers which fostered greater misunderstanding and misinterpretations. The darkness is never a solution, for an inquisitive mind who is compelled to understand; without understanding, there is no acceptance, and without acceptance, one walks away. There were also personal issues relating to where I would frequent the masjid, but I learned that I should not let the imperfection of some individuals dictate my overall experience and opening up of my heart to Islam. I made mistakes, and only recently began working my way back into Islam.... slowly, with questions, but with sincere intent.
A thinker gifted with intellect and reason, a man who appreciates the pursuit of knowledge - whether academic, technical, or more abstract. And a natural, genuine man who is comfortable with himself, sorted, and grounded. I enjoy observing the world around me, and indeed, even observing how other people observe one another; it teaches us much about not being judgmental.
I'm 47 years old, but my experience teaches me that you would never guess that unless I told you.... not even close! My boyish looks easily allow me to pass for early-mid 30's on a good day, and my spirit, energy, and interests are even more contemporary. Most of my friends and social circle consist of people in their late 20s and early 30's - I'm just "young" inside, but experienced, grounded, and mature! Honestly, you couldn't get more genuine proof that age truly is just a number. I consider this youthfulness an extraordinary blessing from Allah swt. :-)
I worked as a Detainee Custody Officer with the Home Office, then worked as a Prisoner Escort for the Ministry of Justice. Today, I work in the Private Security Industry as a Supervisor, and and working towards becoming a Close Protection Operative I can say what I love about it, and that is... it challenges me everyday to be fair, impartial, and caring with people from all walks of life, but also be tough, alert, and ready to react. It's a continual growth process.
As an aspiring entrepreneur, I am to establish myself through speaking and financial trading. I love freedom, and the ability to express my own personality. I see life as a way to grow and evolve even in Dunya, but I am not materialistic - I recognise that abundance comes as a result of success... and have enjoyed some of the perks that have come with it, even though I've found myself in some periods of struggle.
I am a non-smoker, I have never been married (despite a long relationship). My friends would readily call me an engaging conversationalist, a bit of a joker with a sharp sense of humour, a gentle demeanour, a calm vibe, and someone who's light-hearted and never taking myself - or anything - too seriously (really! I asked them to define me, and this is what came up!). I'd say they pretty much nailed it, although there is more: I would define myself as fair, altruistic, keenly observant, supremely patient, and diplomatically honest. I don't like failure, I do not condone laziness, and am not one who is content on settling for mediocrity.
Non-confrontational by nature, I do prefer defusing a situation through communication and a respectful open-mindedness... but if that fails, or I witness a wrongdoing or injustice, I will fight with every ounce of determination I possess, to stand up for what is fair, and protect what is dear to me. And that includes you: if the going gets tough, you can count on me to loyally be by your side, and we will "get through this" together. I am gentle and calm, but don't make the mistake of thinking that also means weak or scared; it doesn't, at all. I've just become very good at communicating and understanding others, so that I can sort things out peacefully. But if needed, the warrior within is ready to protect.
In my life's experiences, I have forged a strong and courageous heart - this is true - but life has also taught me to be compassionate, show undying loyalty, dream of beautiful romance, and be joyously warm of character.
Though there is depth and intellect to my character, I am actually rather simple and uncomplicated. I'm equally prone to laughing at you because you knocked over a priceless vase at a museum, just as I can be up all night talking with you - and LISTENING to you - as you share your passion with me for marine biology.
I have put on some weight since my younger days, but I am in the process of regaining my shape. When fit, I tend to be very physical, and usually have a tremendous energy level, but don't let that scare you - I do not expect you to follow me to Mt. Everest next Sunday morning, and be back in time for tea! However, please understand that sometimes I may need my own space and downtime, as you will certainly need yours. So, while tonight it's snuggles on the sofa with Netflix, a duvet, and chocolate muffin crumbs all over the place... tomorrow it's the gym, and roaming about the city living the excitement of life's wonders!
It's always a question of balance; no extreme is good.
Oh, and about that "I don't keep Halal" thing... it's just because I'm vegan and I don't eat meat. Hence, the argument is irrelevant.
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What I Am Looking For
Well, we all have our ideal picture-perfect companion, don't we? Of course we do! But we also know, unicorns don't really exist... (or do they? :-)
But if unicorns DO exists, mine would be a petite sister of darker skin, and of a healthy, younger child-bearing age... simply because I would certainly wish to blessed with more beautiful children of our own flesh and blood together.
That said, all children are a wondrous blessing, regardless whose they are, and they all deserve love and respect. So, I have no issue with a sister who already has children of her own - please allow me to be clear on that.
But nothing is ever set in stone, and ideals are usually just a fleeting dream...
In actuality, what is more important is that I can appreciate and respect you for being a good woman who is genuine, caring, and simple, with a compassionate heart. A woman who shows respect to Allah first and foremost, and her parents, husband and children (these latter ones equally and in no particular order). Sincerity, truth, commitment, and a strong sense of family are fundamentally important to me, as I am certain they are for you as well..
I am a hopeless, dreamy romantic - almost like a film! - so if you are not keen on such gentleness and tenderness, you may wish to look elsewhere. As my companion and princess, I will shower you with the love, care, and respectful dignity you deserve. If I can make your eyes shine brighter than the light of a thousand stars in the sky, and make your laughter ring more merrily than the songbirds at sunrise, then I am being everything I hope to be for you.
I believe we must have the chance to discover joy and fulfilment together, learning ever more about the Qur'an with each other, strengthening our Deen, and loving each other faithfully as we move ever closer to Jannah al-firdaus together. It is a complete union, for here, now, and the ever-after. Will you be the one to share the joy and rewards with me?
Salaam.
-Malik Raheem
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